Hi, Mike. This is Jim, next door. I've been riddled with guilt for a few
months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you
face-to-face. When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day and
night. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.
Mike, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and
shot Jim dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff
drink and sat down on the sofa. He then looked at his phone and discovered
a second text message from Jim.
SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, Mike. Jim here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume
you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had changed
"wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all.
Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."