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So, some law schools have midterms and the one I just started at is one of those. I figure if football teams can take a bye week, than so can I. As I am sure you were all on the edge of your seats, fingers hovering over the left mouse button, constantly refreshing that page last week I am here to give you your dose of arbitrary and subjective college football rankings. In fact, since my next class is cancelled, you’re gonna get a double shot! Whether that applies to quality or quantity rests in the eyes of you guys, my beloved readers.
#1 Ohio State—they take a jump this week because in my eyes nobody else has been as dominant home or away as the bucknuts. Living in Omaha now, there isn’t much that brings me as much pleasure as the Huskers getting the crap kicked out of them, so that was enjoyable (in fact, my favorite segment of sports radio that I’ve ever heard came via the Husker Volleyball Hour courtesy of the Badgers sweep in Lincoln (first time since 2014 and moving NU to 299-1 all time when hitting .300). So yeah, tOSU looks better to me than everybody else right now. (last: 5)
#2 Clemson—they may have had a close call against North Carolina, but they’re still undefeated and still have one of the most impressive non-conference portions of the schedule. Road conference games can be tough, though I bet ya the Tigers are happy they don’t have to go play Pitt this year (at least in the regular season). Head to head I would lay money on Ohio State to beat these guys. (last: 1)
#3 Alabama—this weekend marks only the second time the Tide will have played a true road game this season, and their only other one (against SC) was against a team that has yet to beat another team with a pulse (honestly, the best thing to happy to Kentucky football so far this season was Jordy Nelson wearing a Randall Cobb UK jersey on Sunday). They take on the Aggies in College Station, which will be a big deal for A&M, but I hope it’s the last time they appear in the rankings this season. What a great decision, to go from having a legit shot at the Big XII every few years to probably never finishing higher than third in the SEC West. (last: 2)
#4 Wisconsin—my poll, my ranking, and On and On and On Wisconsin. The offense may have not looked great against Northwestern, but the last time a Badger tailback had 100+ rushing yards was Corey Clement in 2016 (in a win), Melvin Gordon’s 259yd performance notwithstanding (4 to’s killed the Badgers that day). What really should put everyone on notice is that the defense is playing lights out. Let’s tune up containment between now and Ohio State, which should get some nice work against the power of MSU and the spread of Illinois. QB play has to get better. (last: 4)
#5 Oklahoma—I try not to be petty against my former rivals (is it really a rivalry though? Like, does Ohio State even remember where they keep the Illibuck trophy?) but you gave up 20 points to Kansas, and only scored 25. Really, it’s not so much that OU hasn’t looked good, it’s just that everyone ahead of them looks a little bit better against some better competition (Houston isn’t who I thought they were going to be, for example). Putting up 55 on TTech may sound impressive, but that same defense gave up 35 to the Pokes even when gifted 3 picks and a pair of fumbles. (last: 3)
t6 LSU—Georgia—Florida—ok, here’s what I’m going to do: right now these three teams are fairly indistinguishable from each other. Each has only played one halfway decent team, each won pretty close (though the Gators get a slight edge there), and two of them play each other this weekend. The winner probably moves in front of the Bulldogs. This is where part of the lack of depth year to year in the SEC can really come back to bite those teams (except for how often they’re saved by voter bias) and really shows the importance of scheduling tough out of conference opponents. (last: 6, 8, and NR)
#9 Boise State—speaking of tough, out of conference opponents, that win on the road against Florida State is looking better and better, though FSU had yet to go all Horni on us. It will probably be tough for the Broncs’ to hang around this year because the rest of the Mountain West looks like flaming hot garbage so far, but if they beat who is on their schedule, it’ll be interesting to see where they’ll get seeded in my tournament. (last: 7)
#10 SMU—tougher schedule than Penn State, plus the only other 6-0 team is Forida (last: NR)
#11 Baylor—similar schedule to Penn State (last: NR)
#12 Penn State—they beat the perennial giant slayers at Pitt, so I suppose that’s something. (last: NR)
#13 Texas—deciding who the best 1-loss team is isn’t an easy prospect right now, but I would have to tip it to Texas in that their loss is the ‘best’ loss balanced against the rest of their games (obviously obviously Michigan has the best loss, but hasn’t looked great the rest of the time). It’s Red River Shootout time, so let’s see what happens. (last: NR)
#14 Notre Dame—the schedule hasn’t been as soft as it had appeared to be after the first three weeks, but there’s serious potential for the Domers to not play another meaningful team the rest of the season. Michigan may not even be ranked when they play. (last: NR)
#15 Wake Forest—look at you having a sneaky decent season so far. Clemson looms in the distance, but first you must overcome the Horninoles of Florida State. I know why you’re not ranked higher in either major poll that’s out there, but that’s not a good reason. (last: NR)
#16 Memphis—we’ve been burned by this bridge before, but I had to get the last, relevant undefeated team in here (buzz off Goofers) before including one more 1-loss team and wrapping this thing up. As a major “Group of Five” player, Memphis cannot afford any hiccups along the way during the season. They can still find a way to the postseason in my playoff, and their conference is pretty decent, and they beat an almighty SEC team in the non-con portion, but you still get the feeling that it won’t be enough to be considered at the end. (last: NR)
#17 Auburn—I almost forgot about them, but I think this is a pretty appropriate spot for them. The schedule they’ve played gets less and less impressive each passing week. They have a good shot at redemption, as they have LSU, Georgia, and Alabama all on the slate coming up. (last: 9)
#18 Virginia—ok, one more. The last of the best of the 1-loss teams, over a few undefeateds, and the rest of the field. Purely eye test for me on this one.
On the bubble: Oregon, Michigan, le sigh Minnesota
The Pit of Despair:
#128 Northwestern’s Chart maker: you need multiple touchdowns, just kick the xp and do the onside already
#129 Rutgers: congrats, you have the distinction of being the lowest rated Power 5 team, though Vanderbilt is right there with ya.
#130 Husker Volleyball fans: radio host: “so what happened out there?” both asst. coaches on the program: “we’re not sure, we’ve never seen anything like it. We watched the tape and we still can’t figure out what went wrong. We were just absolutely dominated in every aspect of the game.” –love it.
#1 Ohio State—they take a jump this week because in my eyes nobody else has been as dominant home or away as the bucknuts. Living in Omaha now, there isn’t much that brings me as much pleasure as the Huskers getting the crap kicked out of them, so that was enjoyable (in fact, my favorite segment of sports radio that I’ve ever heard came via the Husker Volleyball Hour courtesy of the Badgers sweep in Lincoln (first time since 2014 and moving NU to 299-1 all time when hitting .300). So yeah, tOSU looks better to me than everybody else right now. (last: 5)
#2 Clemson—they may have had a close call against North Carolina, but they’re still undefeated and still have one of the most impressive non-conference portions of the schedule. Road conference games can be tough, though I bet ya the Tigers are happy they don’t have to go play Pitt this year (at least in the regular season). Head to head I would lay money on Ohio State to beat these guys. (last: 1)
#3 Alabama—this weekend marks only the second time the Tide will have played a true road game this season, and their only other one (against SC) was against a team that has yet to beat another team with a pulse (honestly, the best thing to happy to Kentucky football so far this season was Jordy Nelson wearing a Randall Cobb UK jersey on Sunday). They take on the Aggies in College Station, which will be a big deal for A&M, but I hope it’s the last time they appear in the rankings this season. What a great decision, to go from having a legit shot at the Big XII every few years to probably never finishing higher than third in the SEC West. (last: 2)
#4 Wisconsin—my poll, my ranking, and On and On and On Wisconsin. The offense may have not looked great against Northwestern, but the last time a Badger tailback had 100+ rushing yards was Corey Clement in 2016 (in a win), Melvin Gordon’s 259yd performance notwithstanding (4 to’s killed the Badgers that day). What really should put everyone on notice is that the defense is playing lights out. Let’s tune up containment between now and Ohio State, which should get some nice work against the power of MSU and the spread of Illinois. QB play has to get better. (last: 4)
#5 Oklahoma—I try not to be petty against my former rivals (is it really a rivalry though? Like, does Ohio State even remember where they keep the Illibuck trophy?) but you gave up 20 points to Kansas, and only scored 25. Really, it’s not so much that OU hasn’t looked good, it’s just that everyone ahead of them looks a little bit better against some better competition (Houston isn’t who I thought they were going to be, for example). Putting up 55 on TTech may sound impressive, but that same defense gave up 35 to the Pokes even when gifted 3 picks and a pair of fumbles. (last: 3)
t6 LSU—Georgia—Florida—ok, here’s what I’m going to do: right now these three teams are fairly indistinguishable from each other. Each has only played one halfway decent team, each won pretty close (though the Gators get a slight edge there), and two of them play each other this weekend. The winner probably moves in front of the Bulldogs. This is where part of the lack of depth year to year in the SEC can really come back to bite those teams (except for how often they’re saved by voter bias) and really shows the importance of scheduling tough out of conference opponents. (last: 6, 8, and NR)
#9 Boise State—speaking of tough, out of conference opponents, that win on the road against Florida State is looking better and better, though FSU had yet to go all Horni on us. It will probably be tough for the Broncs’ to hang around this year because the rest of the Mountain West looks like flaming hot garbage so far, but if they beat who is on their schedule, it’ll be interesting to see where they’ll get seeded in my tournament. (last: 7)
#10 SMU—tougher schedule than Penn State, plus the only other 6-0 team is Forida (last: NR)
#11 Baylor—similar schedule to Penn State (last: NR)
#12 Penn State—they beat the perennial giant slayers at Pitt, so I suppose that’s something. (last: NR)
#13 Texas—deciding who the best 1-loss team is isn’t an easy prospect right now, but I would have to tip it to Texas in that their loss is the ‘best’ loss balanced against the rest of their games (obviously obviously Michigan has the best loss, but hasn’t looked great the rest of the time). It’s Red River Shootout time, so let’s see what happens. (last: NR)
#14 Notre Dame—the schedule hasn’t been as soft as it had appeared to be after the first three weeks, but there’s serious potential for the Domers to not play another meaningful team the rest of the season. Michigan may not even be ranked when they play. (last: NR)
#15 Wake Forest—look at you having a sneaky decent season so far. Clemson looms in the distance, but first you must overcome the Horninoles of Florida State. I know why you’re not ranked higher in either major poll that’s out there, but that’s not a good reason. (last: NR)
#16 Memphis—we’ve been burned by this bridge before, but I had to get the last, relevant undefeated team in here (buzz off Goofers) before including one more 1-loss team and wrapping this thing up. As a major “Group of Five” player, Memphis cannot afford any hiccups along the way during the season. They can still find a way to the postseason in my playoff, and their conference is pretty decent, and they beat an almighty SEC team in the non-con portion, but you still get the feeling that it won’t be enough to be considered at the end. (last: NR)
#17 Auburn—I almost forgot about them, but I think this is a pretty appropriate spot for them. The schedule they’ve played gets less and less impressive each passing week. They have a good shot at redemption, as they have LSU, Georgia, and Alabama all on the slate coming up. (last: 9)
#18 Virginia—ok, one more. The last of the best of the 1-loss teams, over a few undefeateds, and the rest of the field. Purely eye test for me on this one.
On the bubble: Oregon, Michigan, le sigh Minnesota
The Pit of Despair:
#128 Northwestern’s Chart maker: you need multiple touchdowns, just kick the xp and do the onside already
#129 Rutgers: congrats, you have the distinction of being the lowest rated Power 5 team, though Vanderbilt is right there with ya.
#130 Husker Volleyball fans: radio host: “so what happened out there?” both asst. coaches on the program: “we’re not sure, we’ve never seen anything like it. We watched the tape and we still can’t figure out what went wrong. We were just absolutely dominated in every aspect of the game.” –love it.
