Best names 1st round mock mockery 2017

Discussion in 'The Warroom' started by salmar80, Apr 1, 2017.

  1. salmar80

    salmar80 Member

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    Haven't had time to stop by on this forum for a while, but decided to share the only mock I have time to make this year. Packers got Herb Waters and Geronimo Allison off last year's edition, so I sorta hit more there than in actual mocks.

    Mods: Snip whatever you feel inflammatory.

    1. Cleveland (1-15) - Malik Hooker, FS - Autobiography titled: "I, M.Hooker"
    2. San Francisco (2-14) - Max Rich, OL - Has the right idea about professional football
    3. Chicago (3-13) - YoungHoe Koo, K - Father: Woo YoungHoe.
    4. Jacksonville (3-13) - Dee Liner, DT - Brother: Oh Liner. Sister: Ai Liner
    5. Tennessee - from Los Angeles Rams (4-12) - Worth Gregory, P - Has own monetary system based on "gregories"

    6. New York Jets (5-11) - DJ Killings, DB - Musician serial murder case solved
    7. Los Angeles Chargers (5-11) - Money Hunter, SS - In it for his love for the game
    8. Carolina (6-10) - Corn Elder, CB - Keeper of ancient secret about how corn flakes
    9. Cincinnati (6-9-1) - Charmeachealle Moore, LB - Priest inebriated trying to say "Jermichael" at baptism
    10. Buffalo (7-9) - King Frazier, RB - TV sitcom royalty

    11. New Orleans (7-9) - Pharaoh Brown, TE - Ancient African-Egyptian royalty
    12. Cleveland - from Philadelphia (7-9) - Gimel President, DT - Runs well for President
    13. Arizona (7-8-1) - Noble Nwachukwu, DT - His motor goes "Nwachukwu-Nwachukwu-Nwachukwu..."
    14. Philadelphia - from Minnesota (8-8 ) - Bug Howard, WR - Has a dog: Pug Howard
    15. Indianapolis (8-8 ) - Otha Peters, LB - Not THAT Peters

    16. Baltimore (8-8 ) - Randall Goforth, DB - Math thesis titled "Goforth and multiply"
    17. Washington (8-7-1) -Ironhead Gallon, LB - If concussions end career, irony at peak
    18. Tennessee (9-7) - Spearman Robinson, WR - Great against cavalry
    19. Tampa Bay (9-7) - Weston Steelhammer, DB - Has to switch to FB in pros due to perfect name
    20. Denver (9-7) - Jon Heck, OT - Almost, but not quite, helluva player

    21. Detroit* (9-7) - Storm Norton, OL - 2nd career as minor DC Comics hero
    22. Miami* (10-6) - Alex Boy, P - Storm Norton's comedic sidekick
    23. New York Giants* (11-5) - William Likely, DB - Free for limited time, then Bill Likely
    24. Oakland* (12-4) - Speedy Noil, WR - Thanks old gods and new he's actually fast
    25. Houston* (9-7) - Jeremiah Ledbetter, DL - Used to lead better, at least honest about it

    26. Seattle* (10-5-1) - Jake Butt, TE - A seemingly great pick, Butt...
    27. Kansas City* (12-4) - K.D. Cannon, WR - Kneel Down Cannon, automatic camp fave
    28. Dallas* (13-3) - Cooper Kupp, WR - Has his nads well protected
    29. Green Bay* (10-6) - Damien Mama, OG - TT loves him. Don't tell Mama
    30. Pittsburgh* (11-5) - Chunky Clements, NT - NFL career just marketing for canned soup line
    31. Atlanta* (11-5) - Woody Baron, DT - Bloody Baron's naughty brother cut from final drafts of Harry Potter AND The Witcher 3.
    32. New Orleans - from New England* (14-2) - C.J. Beathard, QB - Beats me. Or it. Hard.
     
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  2. Mark87

    Mark87 Carpe Diem Admin

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    Hey ! Long time no see... thanks for posting !
     
  3. Packfan35

    Packfan35 Member

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    Nice post Salmar80 ! thumbsup
     
  4. realitybytes

    realitybytes Member

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    Winner)
     
  5. salmar80

    salmar80 Member

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    Been busy with new job. And got mod responsibilities on another forum. Too little time to write around. Had a good day, also broke a real scoop: http://packersnews.net/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=25188

    I'm surprised I didn't get censored or threatened with a ban anywhere. Not even FF. FCC(
     
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  6. GBP4EVER

    GBP4EVER Member

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    Forrest Lamp cousin of Forrest Gump. Forrest telling Forest Run Forrest Run
     
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  7. salmar80

    salmar80 Member

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    Yeah, I shoulda paired Forrest with Budda (Baker). Like the movie, but more zen.
     

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